FACE TO FACE WITH A SQUIRREL!!!!
(ok, face to shin, but whatever; you get my point)
So when letting the puppy out this morning, and when I say puppy, I mean full grown dog of 5 years plus that still has some occasional playful puppy attitude... I opened up the door to find a squirrel on my porch. Now mind you, not just any squirrel, this was the MOTHER of all Squirrels, it was huge... with a bushy tail and long nails and at least as tall as my knee while standing on it's back feet... and a dark grayish brow... it was HUGE and scary!
Now please, don't get me wrong, I am an animal lover... I will go above and beyond to help animals in need; but squirrels freak me out... I'm talking gut wrenching, cold sweat, and all over uncontrollable muscle twitching; freak me out... I was always told I am not allowed to "hate" anything but squirrels might just cross that line... lol, sorry Mom.
So I open the door and smack dab in the middle of the porch is the Mother of all Squirrels (M.O.A.S.) I freak out... I scream, do a little river dance because I think it is going to run at me...try to slam the door so it wont come in, the dog charges the door to try to save his Mama (he was trying to catch the squirrel, but I like to imagine otherwise) I slam the door on the dog... he yelps....the M.O.A.S doesn't move!!! The dang thing screams at us!
It was this strange cackle, somewhere between a loud chirp and a crows caw and then it takes off across the driveway to be followed by the dog... and I am left standing there in my nightgown hair disheveled and wondering what the hell just happened.... (Mind you, this all took about 10 seconds to happen... which is even funnier now, and if you know me, I know you can totally get the vivid picture)
A few seconds pass and I am standing at the door, trying to catch my breath, thinking that if the squirrel ran into the house, I would surely have to move because the house would then be ruined for me... good God, could you imagine!!! aaaccckkkk!!! (Amaya, it was that whole squirrel in the fireplace thing again)
I finally called the dog back to the house after he did his business and he looked at me like "Aren't you happy Mama...I scared the squirrel away!!" He had completely forgotten I nearly took his head off in the door, he was just happy to be up and chasing squirrels away from his mama. What a way to start a Wednesday morning...
Happy Mid-week everyone!!!
3 comments:
best story ever.
What a sweet puppy.
Don't fear the squirrel, Gilby. They loooove you. I love them. Maybe I'll come to your house and catch M.O.A.S. and keep her as a pet.
We have a family of 15-20 of them living in our yard... they seem to like it at our house.
I personally think it is a squirrel conspiracy ;o)
Come over and catch as many as you want! tee hee...
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